How to have anal sex without pain - 5 tips and techniques for beginners.

 

This beginner's guide on how to have anal sex is detailed. You will learn the difference between having deeply satisfying anal sex that gives you full-body orgasms and having anal sex that is painful and messy.

First, I'm going to talk about some of the fundamental tips for having great anal sex, then we'll cover the actual anal sex techniques and positions that you should be using during the act. If you want to skip straight to the anal sex techniques and positions section,. I've also created a separate guide here on how to fully prepare your body for anal sex (hygiene, etc.).

 

 

1. What you need to know about anal sex: the pros and cons of anal sex

There are a lot of really amazing things that you will discover when you start learning how to have anal sex, but there are also a number of drawbacks that you should be aware of as well. Let's start with the pros:

If you want to give your man a back-arching, toe-curling, screaming orgasm that will keep him sexually obsessed with you, then you can learn these sexual techniques in my private and discreet newsletter . You will also learn the 5 dangerous mistakes that will ruin your sex life and your relationship.

Anal Sex Pros

 

A Different Kind of Orgasm Many women have much more intense orgasms from anal sex. I can't fully explain why this is. I know there are thousands or nerve endings in your anus, but there are even more in your vagina and clitoris. So if you are currently having a hard time reaching orgasm from regular vaginal sex, then you may find anal sex much more pleasurable.

The kink factor Another very attractive aspect of anal sex is the 'kink factor' or the taboo of doing something you 'shouldn't'. Breaking taboos can be a lot of fun and important in itself. Many people don't see it this way, but if you do, it's just one more reason to have anal sex with your man.

The Replacement - Vaginal sex is often out of the question. You may not want to have it if you are on your period. You may have a urinary tract infection that you don't want to aggravate. You may even be sore from a previous session. This is when anal sex becomes the perfect backup plan.

No risk of pregnancy. This is obvious, but anal sex means that there is almost zero chance of pregnancy.

Cons of anal sex

Planning Needs One of the biggest problems with having anal sex is that it requires some planning. You probably don't want to try anal after a big vegan lunch.

You'll also want to do some preparation beforehand, especially if it's your first time to make sure it's clean and not painful. This guide will teach you everything you need to know about preparing for the act, before you even try it on your man.

 

His Obsession Some guys seem to have an obsession with anal sex, especially guys with no experience. For a lot of guys like this, it's a box to tick and something they can brag about to their friends. If you're not particularly interested, but your man is obsessed, then dealing with this pressure can be a real snub.

Some love it, some don't: Some women really love anal sex. They find it incredibly pleasurable, while others do not find it pleasurable at all. It's all about personal preference, so if you try it and don't enjoy it, that's fine. There's no need to stress about it if you don't get much stimulation. Instead, try something else from the Mean Girls Bible.

2. Do you even want anal sex?

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Many women are not interested in learning how to have anal sex. Instead, they're just doing it to keep their man happy. In fact, they may be more than just uninterested in the idea of ​​anal sex, they may dislike and even hate the idea.

While I always recommend trying new things at least once to see if you like it or not, you should never feel compelled to do something you don't want to do. The same goes for anal sex.

So if you never want to try it or if you've tried it once and didn't enjoy it, then the obvious but important anal sex advice I have for you is that you shouldn't feel like you have to keep doing it with your man if your sex life consists of do things you don't want to do, then it won't be a particularly satisfying experience. As I mentioned earlier, there are so many more things you can do with your man .

3. Communication, seriously

Learning how to have good anal sex requires great communication with your man. This is going to be mostly one-way communication by the way.

You're going to tell your man what to do AND what not to do.

Therefore, you should be comfortable with the idea of ​​telling your man:

• To slow down,
• take out slowly
• To stop moving completely.

Your man also needs to be someone who actually follows your directions too. If he believes that he will be in control and call the shots, then he will have to bring him down to earth and let him know that this will not be the case. Doing this isn't so you can 'dominate' your man, it's so you can experience the pleasures of anal sex AND NOT THE PAIN.

 

4. The four types of lubricant

One of the most important anal sex tips I have for you is to use lube – it's almost always necessary for pain-free anal.

However, not all lube is made equal, there are four types and choosing the right one plays a big part in your pleasure.

Water-based lube -

As you can probably guess, water-based lube is mostly made of water.

This makes it safe for anal sex, but it's not perfect.

The problem with water-based lube is that it dries out quickly and then has to be reapplied.

Failing to reapply lube can obviously ruin the vibe.

You CAN use water-based lubricants with latex condoms, as it does not break them down.

It is also easy to wash.

Silicone-based lubricant - Silicone-

based lubricant is the lubricant we recommend using when having anal sex.

It is compatible with latex condoms, so it will not degrade them.

It also lasts much longer than water-based lube, so you don't have to worry about reapplying it either.

It also feels super silky and smoother than many water-based lubes.

The only slight drawback is that sometimes it can be a bit difficult to remove the bedding.

Oil based lubricant -

Oil-based lube feels a little smoother and silkier than water-based lube.

It also lasts for years, making it perfect for anal sex, but there are some major drawbacks.

It is much more difficult to wash bedding.

More importantly, oil-based lubricant degrades latex condoms causing them to rip and tear.

Bottom line, if you don't want the condom to break during intercourse, don't use an oil-based lubricant.

Saliva –

I decided to include saliva so often that you may not have access to lube and need a backup, especially if you are having a quickie.

It is water-based and therefore compatible with latex condoms.

It probably shouldn't be your first choice because it will dry out and it's not thick, but it works well.

Here's how we rank the different types of lube starting with the most enjoyable and useful lube:

1. silicone based
2. based on water
3. Oil-based (if not using condoms)
4. Saliva
   

 

When choosing a lubricant from the shelf, you will see that some of them contain spermicide.

The purpose of this ingredient is to kill sperm and prevent pregnancy, which is of little risk with anal activity.

However, most lubricant that is spermicidal has ingredients that are harsh on sensitive genital and anal cavities and even lubricant without spermicide can damage cells. This damage makes it easier to contract STIs such as HIV Avoid lubricant with spermicide for an anal activity or any other sexual activity.

Unfortunately, even lubricants without spermicide can damage the tissues of the anus [5]. This is due to osmolality, classification of particles dissolved in solution.

Each orifice or tissue in your body has its own osmolality, and the rating differs between your anus and vagina, so you may want different lubricants for each activity.

Good Clean Love is a healthier option and Yes But and Sliquid Sassy are designed to be safe, especially for anal sex.

You can also try Aloe Cadabra as a slow osmolality lubricant for anal sex.

5. Pleasure without pain

This section is by far the most important part of the anal sex guide. Don't skip it.

Many people report that anal sex feels painful and the reason for this is their anus. There is a muscular ring in your anus called a sphincter that keeps it tightly closed [ 7 ] This muscle is NOT like the biceps or hamstring muscles that can rapidly relax and contract in a fraction of a second.

Instead, it takes him a long time to relax and allow things to pass him by. Think of it as a very strong muscle, but very slow.

If you try to pass something quickly (your man's penis) when it's closed, then you won't have enough time to relax and this will cause a lot of pain.

So the key to pain-free anal sex is to get your sphincter muscle to relax and open enough for your man to enter you easily. That is how:

Start with a Lubed Finger If you read the Anal Prep Guide here , you'll know that it's best to try penetrating ONLY with a lube-coated finger first so you can see how her sphincter reacts. If you've done this a few times already and have a good idea of ​​how long it takes for him to relax around your finger, then you can have your man do the honors this time. If you haven't already done it yourself, I recommend trying it out on your own first while following these instructions .

He needs to apply a little bit of lubricant to the tip of his finger and a little more to your butt. Next, he should slowly slide his finger inside you, millimeter by millimeter, while giving you feedback, telling you to go deeper or to stop moving or to SLOWLY withdraw (withdrawing quickly may cause some pain, you should). slowly)

As he slowly pushes his finger deeper and deeper into you, it should feel reasonably comfortable.

If it gets a little uncomfortable, tell him to stop moving and keep his finger still for a minute or two. This will allow your sphincter to relax around your finger and open up. When the pain subsides, you can push a little deeper.

If it becomes too uncomfortable and painful, have him take his finger out slowly. Rest for a minute or two and then have it start again.

Thrusting - When he can't penetrate you deeper with his finger, he needs to slowly push it in and out. Once again, you have to control the pace here, so tell him to speed up or slow down, depending on what you want.

Doubling - Once you are comfortable with your man thrusting in and out, you should try adding a second finger. Again, you must be very slow and cautious when doing this, following their instructions and feedback to continue, slow down, stop, or slowly back away.

Once you can easily push in and out with your two fingers, try three fingers or you can start having anal sex.

Don't Numb You may be tempted to reach for a product that numbs your anus for anal sex. However, these products are not lubricants and they keep you from knowing what is going on with your body. It could potentially be numb when a serious break has occurred. Numbing ingredients can also be irritating